mylifein-genaral.blogspot.com
Friday, May 26, 2006
i cried to sleep ystd .
i slept early ystd , yet i can't rmbr what time i slept .
and so i woke up early today & i dreamt tt those frm the thai trip were back . shocker !
we had operation clean-up ystd & tt dumb freddy bought this thingy for cleaning walls & it contained hydrochloric acid .
he was instructed to buy jif . dumb man tt dudu !
ystd my whole body was itching & oh i accidentally tasted the thingy , eww yuck !
and i didnt realise tt it went into my eyes too .
and now my left eye is watery & red & when i woke up just now i can't open my damn eyes , it was stuck & it dried overnite & tt's why i can't open my eyes .
now im starting to tok like patrick starfish . pissh !
fuck freddy lah , i want to sue him & is sue spelled like tt ?
and i'll be goign to ptm later . i'll blab somemore later .
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Thursday, May 25, 2006
pissh ! no one accepts for me for who i am !
and im sick & tired of tt !
and they treat me like " spare tyre " or " replacement " for another friend as he close friend is away .
it really makes sad . orite .
and i know who's been BAD-MOUTH me , she think i dont know what she talks behind me back ?
eh hello ! i wasn't born ystd okay !
when you need me , you come to me for companion , when you have your own companion you throw me like rubbish .
pls to those who know who's being treating you well , i appreciate it , maybe like 1 or 2 or maybe even hardly !
im referring to those who does tt thing to me .
you know how hurtful it is to be treated like tt ?
i know myself i am not perfect ! & i admit it & im not ashamed to admit tt ! cos i know wht is fucking wrong with me & i have so much insecurities , tt i hate myself then my worst enemy !
i know my attitude sucks ! i realise tt !
but i hate to be judged !
i just hate it so damn bloody much !
i hate to be labled !
and i know YOU do too !
i know who's been treating me well & as a friend .
and one definite sure thing one of them is shahira , althou somethimes i feel left out thou when you're with your grp .
i do love you baby & you will be my one & only darling .
i nvr regretted being your friend , althou we hated each other's guts at first !
i can tell who hates me & pls believe me i hate me more than you do & tt's a sure fact !
pissed off with certain ppl . like i dont know what she toks abt me ! pls lah . im not ur toy !
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006
i dont know what is fucking wrong with this blogspot thing ?
irritating seh !
i changed my url . www.tinee-baby.blogspot.com
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Monday, May 22, 2006
okok , i went to causeway point on sunday , was so bloody tired , i ate so damn much & ohoh , otw way there , i saw this really cute , i cant seem to know whether it's a chi. or mly . i dont usually think tt chi are cute , only the ` clean ` ones . keekeekuku . hass .
haha can ?
and decided tt i wont be going to skul , ahaha . my mom asked us who dont want to go to sch tmr & all raised up their hands . kekeke .
she rocks sometimes , but i wished sh could be more open some other time , give me more freedom can ?
and and i dont need to produce an mc for patrick starfish , my mom called & said tt , i had diarheoa & said she did nt bring us to the docs & i only need to wirte a letter & she lied for us . ahaha .
anw can bully the teacher cos he's kinda dumb sumtimes , he speaks to us like as if we are stupid ? uhh .
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Tuesday, May 16, 2006
the previous rant was abt monday , just for ur info .
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so much shit happened to me today , frens , family .
ughh hate it so much , ESPECIALLY backstabbing bitches ! what they do all day long on the fone is just gossiping abt other humans . c' mon why do they need to butt in into other's personal life ??
why is my life so miserable now ?
now i wish i want to be an innocent little infant the One tt doesnt make noise , haha .
I haven't been providing sweets lately to my frens , bankrupt dok !
hari-hari beli gule , hehe .
I just knew tt syg = love , haha !
you know , phy is supposed to be tougher than chem , but I passed my phy & failed my chem , haha tt cracks me up so damn much , I went home laughing .
oh yah , one more thing , tt MOTHERFUCKING bitch laughed behind my back when she asked her . it seemed so clear !
uhh .. big deal .
nothing is gonna bring me dwn , I must be strng at least I hope so . (sigh)
I guess im quite happy tt i passed my mother tounge . ive been working hard , (NOT) ! like tt'll evr happen .
no , seriously i dint study , i revised , it doesn't mean the same rite ?
i onli revised the subs tt im intersted at onli such as phy , mt , ss & mths , surprising rite ? all the hardcore subs , i guess the sub is interesting .
omg did i just put tt dwn ? yeah duh ?!
ohoh , i saw this so lovely guy at pizza hut on mother's day , he is so cute for me lah ! he so swit . hehe .
oh i also saw two of my pri sch frens werking there too . i thot she was arrogant but she turned out to be the otherwise .
oh yah i saw sarah too , oh she strangled me frm the back when im otw to pure pets . she look so lovely lovely !
all along i knew abt karma , u know what goes arnd comes arnd , i nvr used to beliv in tt shit , but it so true ! why does it have to be tt way ?
fyi : i used to be a gossip-er too , but i turned into a new leave ! hehe =D . but yah , it's the fact lah , i used to do tt !
i learned tt gossiping is so low ! lower thn anything else !
i think this is the longest rant ! oh well !
aft this i wanna take a long cold shower , i'll wanna change into a better person , pls . i beg of you God , pls help me ! i hate being like this .
you know i used to have this idea , i'll repent & then i'll kill myself // pay someone to kill me & htn i realised life is too wonderful to be lost , even thou killing urself is hude sin i think .
i so have to stop rite now !
oh & i found out tt idiot = ank lua nikah , tt reali cracks me up so much !
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Saturday, May 13, 2006
I cried in my dreams just now fer half an hour , I dreamnt the weirdest dream ever .
here's how it went , I was quarelling with mom abt somehting & I had a drawing paper & a pencil . I was quarelling with her , she went into the kitchen & I drew what happened , like how the quarelling went , like in comic strips , some stuff like tt & I in my dream I can draw really well , my mom in the kitchen & later my dad was holding a cane & I thot he was abt to cane me , but it was the otherwise .
In the dream tt really touched me me & my dad was nvr closed , so when he comforted me , it really touched me even thou it was only a dream .
then , my mom came out again & my dad disappeared ,we started to quarrel again & I drew some more & later I was awaken peacefully , not by anyone . this is now real , I saw my mom & I shut my eyes not wanting her to see my tears , cos i'm really damn sensitive & if she asks i'll cry even more . I turned the other way & still crying , when she went out i wipe my tears & went to the mirror to see whether my eyes were swollen , thank god it's not .
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
PROMISES made ..
Ystd's goals , dim memories
Dark sadden eyes , blurring with tears
Painful scars borne ; Love's history
Future's crumble when doubt appeaars .
No brightly lit hope envisioned ,
When following aft harsh words .
Hurt soul splits in twain , partitioned .
Swooned by appeal - when numbness lured .
Apologies made will nvr be bought
That is as if you'll apologise
For all this time I nvr had this thought
And you're so gonna pay the price !
You brought my hopes up & crush them over & over again
And throw it dwn with no mercy & leave with pain .
My heart is so damn fragile & can be broken ,
And all you had to do was to break it !
I thot you were kind , soft , caring & all full of laughter
But I was so damn wrong that we will ever be together .
fuck you , you broke my fucking heart !
And I'll aim urs with a dart .
Let it BLEED for all I care ,
Cos it's so damn clear that YOU nvr cared !
I'll put this mess all behind me
and hopefully you'll realise what you did to me !
You fucking bastard !
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the song ` put your records on ` by someone I forgot .
haha .
It really brings me to peace , a very down-to-earth kinda thing .
anw .. phy was quite simple I think ?
I don't dare to say anything .
* OMG ! Im fucking bored .
I don't know what to do to fill up the time ?
fuck ! I hate it when boredom arouse !
I don't even have my book to read , well .. technically it's not mine it's Peggy's .
He took it as he was so INTERESTED at it !
ughh .. typical !
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Monday, May 08, 2006
it feels like heaven these past 3 days .
and today too .
evrynite slp-ing late & evry morning waking up late .
gosh , it feels so good !
fuck ! im BROKE !
nvm I'll just plead . the thing I'm really good at .
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Sunday, May 07, 2006
woots ! there's no sch. tmr !
I dont have hope fer my geog ppr // or mths !
I've been slacking alot lately , since the mnth of february .
tt's what I am pro at . haha
I'm going to catch a movie on labour day , I wonder WHO I'll ask to tag alng with me , it is so not sensible that I'll br going to a movie alone right ?
It's been a long time since I've not been playing on the oh so favourite thing at the playground THE SWING !
oh yah , that reminds me I nvr played the sims2 fer quite awhile , bz wif stuff , sms-ing everynite
mayb I'll considering accepting HIM ?
I'll think abt it aniway , just cant make the decision now !
chiaos !
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Omg ! I really have to lose weight !
FUCK !
I've been saying fuck all the time lately .
OH well , I was influenced. hehe
I'll try to cut dwn on my food.
Well , hope I get to lose a few kg .
Pray for me evryone ! hehe :)
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I went to my grans just now . so ?
OH fuck ! I overspent for this month , I still got lots more stuff in mind , oops ! double fuck ! I forgot something came up !
When we were on our way back , I went to seven eleven , to buy oh the so delicious BIG M choclate .
FUCK ! I seriously need to go on a diet ! I'll go do the easiest way , crunch diet *grin*
When I went out frm the seven eleven store , the rain suddenly poured so damn heavily .
So I had to wait , somehow the rain didn't stop , so somehow I managed to hitch a cab and get a ride home .
I reached home at 2300hrs , fuck I stepped out of the hse at 2130hrs .
sweet dreams .. is pretty spelled like this // like this preety ?
I had no idea .
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Friday, May 05, 2006
I went to the library wit my peeps just now , I had a weird feeling when we were nearing the main door , they looked at me like there was something wrong , like there is something different abt me, well yeah, I wasnt wearing my tudung . Oh hell yeah, I know what they were thinking abt ! Just something I felt . Nvm that, I am 100% sure that I'll fail all my sub fer mid-yr ! woots that's the way it will go . When I was on my way back to home , cos at the lib was so danm boring , we just could not study , I realised something , that now I know why my life is so miserable , it's bcos of the sins I did and I'll to repent bit by bit . Oo I'm turning into an goody girl . Well it's for the better , hey at least I realised my mistakes ! weehee ! I'm writing this like it's so normal of me . This is really not normal ! gosh !
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I had gotten out of love fer my precious little pink colour.haha. I'll be moving on witout you , fyi im not toking abt the pink colour.hees. It's clear now , and I won't deny it. It's so damn fucking obvious . and I'll try to deny that I don't have feelings fer you animore. But that's the way it have to go, i'm moving on, someone's waiting fer me, so I gotta go. I can't wait fer you, and let time pass by me, and miss all the chances that awaits me, now I got no worries animore, I can do wtver I want.
New chapter : could it be that suddenly I'm falling fer you , could it be you were right here beside me and I never knew, could it be thta's it's you. But I'll try to deny it now. Someone pince me,
`ouch,what was that for ?!`
`I thought you wanted someone to pinch you, well I did it and you din't even say thank you.`my lil bro replied .
`It was just an expression, dumb asshole !`
I'll not be noticing you animore, asshole ! you'll just be an ordinary fucking stranger to me.
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